Hockey is an interesting culture. I think it takes a special person to walk into a hockey rink and not die from the smell. Maybe some gene you’re born with or something. Who the hell knows? Anyways, I digress. We are in the midst of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, a trying time for all involved. The playoffs bring about this thing called “playoff beards.” Players (and fans) grow out their beards until they get eliminated or win the cup. Sometimes it’s done for charity. I’m not sure how that works. Do they donate their beard? I hope not because my throat is closing up thinking about it. But still, hot hockey players doing charity. My vote, playoff beards…hot. Go Flyers. Said it.
So let’s switch gears for a moment and divert our attention to the NFL. Everything is all a flutter now as trades are happening and free agents are roaming around like lost puppies. Now, I’m not even a Broncos fan (go Eagles!) but I am a Tim Tebow fan. He’s the best thing to happen to football since helmets or something like that. Call it an overstatement,
but I love him. Now that Peyton Manning has usurped Tebow’s quarterback position, poor Tim is now facing being traded. Congrats Denver, you just signed 36-year-old Manning, which is like 72 in football years. What I don’t understand is why not keep Tebow and have some sort of mentoring program. I’m sure Manning has a lot to say, like what it was like to play quarterback during the Reformation or something. But in all honesty, it would be an amazing opportunity for such a young player like Tebow to learn from Yoda, I mean Manning. Team Tebow.
Ladies, raise your hand if you have ever pretended to know something about sports to hold you own in a conversation with the boys. If you could see me, I would be raising my hand as well. We’ve all done it. This post is to help you ladies out there that may need a little help with some March Madness vocabulary.
A Bracket: This is what makes and breaks the tournament for people. Teams are matched up and the winner moves forward to the next empty space. Pay attention to your guy’s bracket, as it can determine his (and your happiness) for the rest of the month.
Seeds: Simple. 16 is bad. 1 is good. 1 plays 16 first. 1 usually wins. Moving on.
An Upset: An up set happened when a lower seed beats a higher seed. This is what usually messes up The Bracket (see above). March Madness is all about upsets.
Sweet 16: Not your shitshow of a party you had sophomore year of high school. The Sweet 16 are the last 16 teams remaining in the tournament.
Elite 8: See above, but with 8
Final Four: Self-explanatory.
So next time your guy freaks out because his bracket is ruined, throw in one of these words and see his reaction.
It’s that time of year again. The brackets get filled and the TVs don’t turn off. It’s the time of the year when the only thing more exciting than an upset is well, nothing. For college basketball, March Madness is the most anticipated part of the season. Unless your team sucks and didn’t get asked to dance. Sorry bout it. So stay tuned for updates on the madness and get those brackets filled